My battle of pain

There are so many things going on inside my mind. So many things that you won’t understand. All those insecurities. So don’t try to tell me that I’m having a bad day, because it’s been going on for so much longer. The tears, the desperate cries that no one seems to hear. But I just slip up sometimes and I can’t cover it up as well. I’m running out of strength and it’s getting harder and harder to keep it all in.

I will stay strong!

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You’re not under your own stream

I know….

sometimes it’s hard to smile,

but you don’t have to reveal a grin on your face all the time.

I know…….It’s hard when….

It’s dead of night…..

you lie awake….

you cry your eyes out

your heart bleeds….

no love or attachments..

no insight

your life isn’t a fairy tale anymore

now it’s horror and….

you can’t do anything with it…

you crave the feeling of being a human again

you just try to sail away..

sail away from problems…

from pain…

you choose a way called

         SELF – HARM

You shouldn’t suffer and hurt yourself because of any problem in your life.

It’s not the right way because….

you can lose the most important thing

           YOUR LIFE

and why?

because of some girl who doesn’t like you?

because you can’t solve anything?

because someone’s bullying you?

because of anger and frustration in you?

because you don’t want to be racked with guilt and anxiety anymore?

I know these thoughts and concerns are terribly depressing..

and they can bring you low but self – harm isn’t the right answer.

If you tried taking another way…….

you have a chance to win this fight…!

you can neglect the pain..

and you can enjoy the little joy in your life

and I promise that these joys will gradually increase..

In the end…..your life will transform into a huge victory and success!

you won’t thirst for an end to this joy….

Don’t give up without fighting! 🙂

YOU ARE A WARRIOR…….STAY STRONG 🙂

What life is about……

Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it’s about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life’s about.

A Smile Cost Nothing But Gives Much

Did you know that many who have tried, but failed, to commit suicide, said that if some stranger had just acknowledged their humanity with a smile, they would have changed their mind?

A smile does not only have the power to save lives but also the ability to change someone’s actions if given to the right person at the right time. A smile is contagious, a lot like kindness. When someone is kind to a particular person that person then feels motivated to be kind towards others also. Smiling works in the same way. When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner, and someone saw my grin. When she smiled I realized I’d pass it onto her.

I thought about that smile and then realized that it’s worth it. A single smile, just like mine could travel round the Earth. The most powerful aspect of a smile is that a smile itself is the most powerful human quality. It represents happiness, kindness, compassion and can give someone hope. A smile is defined as turning up the corners of your mouth to show an expression of happiness. Though really a smile has the hidden power to change lives. From saving someone’s life to simply cheering them up. We should all smile more often, after all, it’s free and the best thing someone can wear.

Patience

I am a patient human being. I know that everything in life comes to me and occurs at the perfect time. I don’t force anything to hurry up in my life, for it is all unfolding at the perfect time and just as beautifully as the spring blossom.

In waiting, there is always something for me to learn. I am patient because I am at peace with the way my life is progressing. In a time when I must wait, instead of choosing to be impatient, which speeds up nothing, I use that time productively by extending kindness and help to others. These acts of compassion make me feel wonderful.

Healing

Every day I choose to heal for my heart, mind, body and spirit. I work through the darkness in my life and I am able to find the stars.

I heal in my own time and I am gentle with myself every day. I forgive myself and I forgive those who may have hurt me in the past. My heart may be broken but I choose to fill the cracks with love and gentleness.

A letter to self-harm

Dear Self-harm,

I want you to know that it is over between us. I know I have said this before, but it has taken me every ounce of courage to say it now. You left when I was fourteen and I thought we were through, but then you came crawling back.

You made my family and friends concerned, and forced me to distance myself from them in order to keep you satisfied. They kept telling me how bad you were for me, but you kept tempting me to come back for more. And I did.

You visited me often, even at unspeakable hours, ready to scream and yell about how much I deserved you and how you were the only one to truly care about me. And that, no matter how much I hated you, I couldn’t let you go because I was addicted to the pain you gave me.

You often lied to me, telling me that by listening to you I had control of emotions that I felt I couldn’t handle. You kept telling me that the relief you gave me was worth more than the pain before and afterward. But all you did by lying to me has you led me into a pool of unmanageable guilt, frustration, and self-loathing.

Just in case you’re wondering why I’m writing this letter, let me remind you of our fight. Remember how I hadn’t seen you for a couple of weeks? And then a few days ago, you visited me while I was in bed? You wouldn’t stop yelling at me, no matter how much I yelled back. You only stopped when I did as you told me. Except then you left me all alone. Left me with the tears, the guilt, and the pain of what you had just made me do. You left me all alone, not giving me the usual contentment and short-lived pleasure I felt when I listened to you.

It’s going to be hard not being with you anymore, we’ve been together for two years now. The attachment we had with each other was huge, but it’s time to move on. I don’t want to be your slave anymore. I don’t want to have to look at you when I change my clothes, when I have a shower, in the summer when I go swimming, or when I’m playing a sport. Because you disgust me and it disgusts myself that I’ve put up with you for so long.

I know you won’t miss me because you’ve got plenty of other friends to be with. I just wish you weren’t so popular. I hope one day, they too, have the strength to get rid of you and you’ll be all alone, just like you’ve made me feel for the past two years.

You’re very enticing, but don’t even think about coming back again because this is it. This is the end.

Yours never,

Broken crayons.