How I stopped being depressed

Since the start of this year, and for 4 months following that, I have been battling with feeling depressed. And even though I thought I had overcome it during the first few months, its devastating effects lingered and haunted me in subtle ways.

It wasn’t until a series of personal struggles and more episodes of emotional breakdowns that followed did it eventually “crack” me and had brought me back to a place of serenity.

This is a slice of that story.

I have been writing and rewriting this article on and off for several months, each time exposing different details and insights. With every version, I would allow self-doubt or excuses to overtake me, I would then scrap the piece and start over.

Truth be told, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to see me this way. I was ashamed at who I had become. I felt lost. I was struggling with everything and I had to “stand up” again.

Then it occurred to me that, sharing my struggles with you is a good thing. It exposes my own battles, the techniques which help me overcome them, and what I have learned through the experience.

It also shows you that all of us are in this together, in that we all dip into the pitfalls of life’s turbulence, but we always recover, and often as a better person.

Depression doesn’t heal overnight, and even though we experience heightened states of happiness during the healing process, complete healing takes time and a lot of loving patience for yourself.

I am a believer that things in our lives happen for a reason, a purpose greater than ourselves, often greater than what we can fully comprehend.

When “bad” things happen, we have two choices, we can blame and prolong our victim identity, sinking deeper into our victim story, OR, we can choose to see the experience as a gift, an opportunity for personal growth, to expand our self-understanding, to expand our capacity to love ourselves, and to expand our capacity of compassion for others.

I choose to see what happened to me as a gift. The Universe loves me so much that she gave me a series of challenges that knocked me down. She knows that I have within me, all that I need to stand up again.

I choose to see what happened to me as stepping-stones to learning incredible life lessons that I wouldn’t gain any other way.

I choose to see what I experienced as a pathway of awakening, to discover the sacred within me, which also lies in every one of you.

I choose to view the events that lead to what I experienced as an act of compassion from the Universe so that I can share my understanding to others experiencing similar pain.

Life is really very good, but we forget sometimes that we have choices at every step of the way. We have the choice to act or react. We have the choice of perspective. We have the choice of stepping back, taking a deep breath, and then moving forward deliberately.

We have the choice of creating, with the power of our mind, how we want the story of our lives to go.

Every moment of every day, we have a clean slate, in which we can decide what our future will be. If we don’t do so consciously and deliberately, we simply bring what was once in the past into the future, and repeatedly live in the pain of the past.

Every time we tell someone our story of pain, where we play the victim, we are creating the same pain in our future. So, if you want a future free from pain, a future free from the past, tell a different story. Stop complaining, stop looking for sympathy from others, stop dwelling on all the unfairness that life has put you through.

Life is very short, and it is very beautiful but only if we choose to see it as such. Do you really want to waste the limited time we have on this planet by dwelling on something that happened in the past, which is no longer real? Or choosing with deliberate intention to live life fully, to appreciate the everyday miracles we once took for granted, to focus on things that make us happy and fulfilled.


37 thoughts on “How I stopped being depressed

  1. I like your philosophy on life and healing and the universe and such. Also about not buying into the victim mentality so much. That’s not to say we shouldn’t acknowledge the pain. The pain of the past is there, and it’s shitty-but we do have the ability to make positive choices 😊💪👍

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This is very good. Thank you for sharing!
    When I began blogging the other week, I actually was concerned that I would just be “complaining”… but looking back at my posts I realise that I’m actually telling a very positive story whilst referencing the bad stuff in my life — reading your post has underlined that feeling. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • I write because I love telling stories, hearing stories, and having a voice is important to me. I feel every individual should have the right to express themselves through their writing. I do not always agree (I make that known) but we all have a voice! Never be afraid to share your story!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you so much for this, I was interested in knowing how do you deal with writing things that may inspire you that aren’t necessarily positive, do you disregard negativity entirely if it manifests or is there a particular approach you take to keep from going back to the bad place again

        Liked by 2 people

      • write down your life’s timeline and distinguish your thoughts from others’. Start with a clean slate and organize your world. Give yourself some alone time, seek out a passion, and find a mentor. Change your perspective and let go of negative thoughts. Question yourself, then act on your newfound knowledge.


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    Liked by 1 person

  4. I like your attitude about being positive and not playing the victim. I was that way for too much of my life. Being sorry for myself never worked for me. I have had to learn the truth the hard way. Thankfulness is key to living cheerfully.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Although negative emotions are a challenge, there are effective ways to cope. By practicing these strategies, you will become more tolerant of them and less likely to get caught up in downward spirals of gloom and doom.‘ Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.’


  5. “I choose to see what happened to me as stepping-stones to learning incredible life lessons that I wouldn’t gain any other way.” Profound. A great positive reframe. I beleive we are here to learn lessons and life generously keeps on given them to us until we have learnt them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • If you went through a severe depression, you may be relieved to just feel OK again. You might not be happy, but you’re grateful that you can get out of bed and go to work.

        But that isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to just feel less miserable. You deserve to feel well again, to feel as good as you once did. If your current treatment isn’t allowing that, then you need make certain everything is being done to improve symptoms as fully as possible. There are many different ways of treating depression — therapy, medicines, and lifestyle changes — that can help.

        So don’t settle for feeling just OK. You and your health care provider need to work together. With some effort and good treatment, you can feel truly well again.
        Wishing you all the best my friend!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I would say I feel happy. I just mean it is something I have to be proactive about in my daily activities. When I slip up on my good habits or self-care is when I am at risk. Thanks 😊. I totally agree. We deserve to thrive, not just get by. 💜


  6. Wow…this is so brilliant. I wish that I could be as wise as you! I’ve spent the majority of the last few hours reading your blogs and I am in awe. Depression is such a hard thing to go through. I don’t think you ever fully get over it, you just learn to move on. I love your positive outlook on life! Thank you for sharing your heart!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Feeling down or blue is a natural part of life. People let us down, things go wrong, we lose people we love or the dreams we’ve valued. But depression is a choice and I chose to move on…. Thank you so much for your heartwarming comment! I really appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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