Patience

I am a patient human being. I know that everything in life comes to me and occurs at the perfect time. I don’t force anything to hurry up in my life, for it is all unfolding at the perfect time and just as beautifully as the spring blossom.

In waiting, there is always something for me to learn. I am patient because I am at peace with the way my life is progressing. In a time when I must wait, instead of choosing to be impatient, which speeds up nothing, I use that time productively by extending kindness and help to others. These acts of compassion make me feel wonderful.

Healing

Every day I choose to heal for my heart, mind, body and spirit. I work through the darkness in my life and I am able to find the stars.

I heal in my own time and I am gentle with myself every day. I forgive myself and I forgive those who may have hurt me in the past. My heart may be broken but I choose to fill the cracks with love and gentleness.

A letter to self-harm

Dear Self-harm,

I want you to know that it is over between us. I know I have said this before, but it has taken me every ounce of courage to say it now. You left when I was fourteen and I thought we were through, but then you came crawling back.

You made my family and friends concerned, and forced me to distance myself from them in order to keep you satisfied. They kept telling me how bad you were for me, but you kept tempting me to come back for more. And I did.

You visited me often, even at unspeakable hours, ready to scream and yell about how much I deserved you and how you were the only one to truly care about me. And that, no matter how much I hated you, I couldn’t let you go because I was addicted to the pain you gave me.

You often lied to me, telling me that by listening to you I had control of emotions that I felt I couldn’t handle. You kept telling me that the relief you gave me was worth more than the pain before and afterward. But all you did by lying to me has you led me into a pool of unmanageable guilt, frustration, and self-loathing.

Just in case you’re wondering why I’m writing this letter, let me remind you of our fight. Remember how I hadn’t seen you for a couple of weeks? And then a few days ago, you visited me while I was in bed? You wouldn’t stop yelling at me, no matter how much I yelled back. You only stopped when I did as you told me. Except then you left me all alone. Left me with the tears, the guilt, and the pain of what you had just made me do. You left me all alone, not giving me the usual contentment and short-lived pleasure I felt when I listened to you.

It’s going to be hard not being with you anymore, we’ve been together for two years now. The attachment we had with each other was huge, but it’s time to move on. I don’t want to be your slave anymore. I don’t want to have to look at you when I change my clothes, when I have a shower, in the summer when I go swimming, or when I’m playing a sport. Because you disgust me and it disgusts myself that I’ve put up with you for so long.

I know you won’t miss me because you’ve got plenty of other friends to be with. I just wish you weren’t so popular. I hope one day, they too, have the strength to get rid of you and you’ll be all alone, just like you’ve made me feel for the past two years.

You’re very enticing, but don’t even think about coming back again because this is it. This is the end.

Yours never,

Broken crayons.

An enduring promise

I promise myself……..

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

You’re not alone

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about 5 minutes. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional, only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

Let’s start by considering this statement:

Suicide is not chosen, it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die, it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weight……no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course, you would cheer yourself up if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “Thant’s not enough to be suicidal about”. There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from a person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand the pain.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of the two things: (1) Find a way to reduce your pain (2) Find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to share with you five things to think about……….

  1. You need to know that people do get through this, even people who feel as badly as you are feeling right now. Statistically, there’s a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
  2. Give yourself some distance. Tell yourself that, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything”.Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things, just you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal actions. Even if it’s just for 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes just by reading this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment acting on it. That is very encouraging for me, and I hope it is to you.
  3. People turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling, and you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek if you are dead.
  4. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings. either because they are frightened or angry. They may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reaction is about their fears, not about you. But there are many people out there who can help you in this horrible time., and will not judge you, or argue with you. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now! Use your 24 hours, or your week and tell someone what’s going on with you. It’s okay to ask for help.
  5. Don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
  6. Suicidal feelings are traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea, so are the various self -help groups.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think that you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten……!!! Until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this post may have given you some relief, the best coping resource I can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resource by one. Hopefully, the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are many people out there who really want to hear from you, trust me. It’s time to start looking around for one of them

Now:I’d like you to call someone

 

How to control your eating disorder

The first step to recovery: Reaching out for support

It can be scary and embarrassing to seek help for an eating disorder, but opening up about the problem is an important step on the road to recovery. However, it’s important to choose someone who will be supportive and truly listen without judging you or rejecting you. This could be a close friend or family member or a youth leader, teacher, or school counselor you trust. Or you may be more comfortable confiding in a therapist or doctor.

Tips for talking to someone about your eating disorder

There are no hard and fast rules for telling someone about your eating disorder. But be mindful about choosing the right time and place ideally somewhere private where you won’t be rushed or interrupted.

Starting the conversation. This can be the hardest part. One way to start is by simply saying, “I’ve got something important to tell you. It’s difficult for me to talk about this so it would mean a lot if you’d be patient and hear me out.” From there, you may want to talk about when your eating disorder started, the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors involved, and how the disorder has impacted you.

Be patient. Your friend or family member will have their own emotional reaction to learning about your eating disorder. They may feel shocked, helpless, confused, sad, or even angry. They may not know how to respond or help you. Give them time to digest what you’re telling them. It’s also important to educate them about your specific eating disorder.

Be specific about how the person can best support you. For example, checking in with you regularly about how you’re feeling, helping you finding treatment, or finding ways to support your recovery without turning into the food police.

Eating disorder support groups

While family and friends can be a huge help in providing support, you may also want to join an eating disorder support group. They provide a safe environment where you can talk freely about your eating disorder and get advice and support from people who know what you’re going through.

There are many types of eating disorder support groups. Some are led by professional therapists, while others are moderated by trained volunteers or people who have recovered from an eating disorder. You can find online anorexia and bulimia support groups, chat rooms, and forums. These can be particularly helpful if you’re not ready to seek face-to-face help or you don’t have a support group in your area.

What emotional need does your eating disorder fill?

The first step is figuring out what’s really going on inside. Are you upset about something? Depressed? Stressed out? Lonely? Is there an intense feeling you’re trying to avoid? Are you eating to calm down, comfort yourself, or to relieve boredom? Once you identify the emotion you’re experiencing, you can choose a positive alternative to starving or stuffing yourself.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

  • Call a friend
  • Listen to music
  • Play with a pet
  • Read a good book
  • Take a walk

 

  • Write in a journal
  • Go to the movies
  • Get out into nature
  • Play a favorite game
  • Do something helpful for someone else
    Coping with anorexia and bulimia: Emotional Do’s and Don’ts
    Do…
    • allow yourself to be vulnerable with people you trust
    • fully experience every emotion
    • be open and accepting of all your emotions
    • use people to comfort you when you feel bad, instead of focusing on food
    • let your emotions come and go as they please without fear
    Don’t…
    • pretend you don’t feel anything when you do
    • let people shame or humiliate you for having or expressing feelings
    • avoid feelings because they make you uncomfortable
    • worry about your feelings making you fall apart
    • focus on food when you’re experiencing a painful emotion

    Appearance and body image symptoms

    Dramatic weight loss – Rapid, drastic weight loss with no medical cause.

    Feeling fat, despite being underweight – You may feel overweight in general or just “too fat” in certain places, such as the stomach, hips, or thighs.

    Fixation on body image – Obsessed with weight, body shape, or clothing size. Frequent weigh-ins and concern over tiny fluctuations in weight.

    Harshly critical of appearance – Spending a lot of time in front of the mirror checking for flaws. There’s always something to criticize. You’re never thin enough.

    Denial that you’re too thin – You may deny that your low body weight is a problem while trying to conceal it (drinking a lot of water before being weighed, wearing baggy or oversized clothes).

    Purging symptoms

    Using diet pills, laxatives, or diuretics – Abusing water pills, herbal appetite suppressants, prescription stimulants, ipecac syrup, and other drugs for weight loss.

    Throwing up after eating – Frequently disappearing after meals or going to the bathroom. May run the water to disguise sounds of vomiting or reappear smelling like mouthwash or mints.

    Compulsive exercising – Following a punishing exercise regimen aimed at burning calories. Exercising through injuries, illness, and bad weather. Working out extra hard after bingeing or eating something “bad.”

Don’t be shy about asking for help. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it only means you’re wise

Don’t let their smile fool you

If you stop and look around, notice the people that walk past, notice the people you work with or even the people close to you. If you look close enough, you will see that each one of us is fighting our own battle. Whether it be a battle of overcoming a loss or even a battle to achieve our dreams. It may even be a battle to just be able to get out of bed each morning and make it to the next day.

No one’s life is as perfect as it looks

Even the successful, the beautiful and the well-known people that seem to have it all, think about it, do they really? We all have problems. The truth of the matter is that we will always face problems in some sort of manner. It’s a part of life and it’s what makes us grow.

We tend to judge and compare our lives to those that seem to have what we want but do we really know what they’re feeling? They may even have an illness we don’t know about. They may have some sort of addiction or experiencing abuse we don’t know about. They may be going through some tough circumstances. What people show to the public is not always necessarily the whole picture…

There is more to life than the glamor and what is shown on social media. Not everyone will post their problems. There is a lot going on behind the scenes. We shouldn’t compare our lives to others. We don’t know what it took for them to get to where they are and we don’t know the battle they are fighting themselves.

 

I have never met a strong person with an easy past

There are people that seem so confident, seem to have it together and when things get tough, it seems to not affect them as it would others. Their smile lights up the room and their presence is felt wherever they are. How can they be so happy? How can they be so strong? We start to wish we had their confidence and use the excuse that they can do it because they’re confident and it’s just not in our own personality.

In my journey thus far, some of the strongest, most confident people I have met have gone through the worst pain and struggles. Once I got to know them and learned of their past and their stories, my heart felt for them. I wanted to cry. They weren’t just naturally tough. They weren’t born with confidence. These people are the way they are because life gave them no other choice.

Comparing ourselves to others

We really shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. If we look deep enough we will find that we all are messed up. We all have issues. We all have fears. Some just hide it better than the others. The strongest and happiest people have been through hell and back. The only thing that kept them sane was the faith and hope that they would make it through the end of the dark tunnel.

Those people that seem to always be happy, always be laughing, always be smiling – take a deeper look. Don’t let their smile fool you because behind every smile, every laughter, every person is a story yet to be told.

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Arch't. Michael M. de Leon

ARCHITECT / AUTHOR / ARTIST

TheCagedBirdSings

The song of a heart can never be caged...

Mel the Missionary

Adventures of a Mzungu

Noxolo Maxham

This is an inspirational blog

Adopting Star

An Unexpected Journey

Acting the Universe

Everyone is an actor on the stage that is the universe. We struggle, we risk, we fail, we rise again.

Tales & Trails

Memories is the diary that we all carry about with us.

savedbygracexmizzou

We were made for so much more than these ~ O R D I N A R Y ~ lives.

FREE BIRD

live life on your terms...

Abbie Nicole

Beauty & Blogging

Under Literary Construction

Book reviews, Creative Non-fiction, Fiction, Poetry, Custom Products

From A Healer's Life

By Sibgha Zafar

Flowers and Breezes

Life of Sheen

ILL MIND OF DAWN

BOSELE THE POET